Falcons and Futbol

Sometimes an adventure is considered "work"....
But if Tuesday was work, I'll work forever with no arguments what-so-ever.

As a part of our training of new filmmakers, I was sent out to supervise shoots with some of our "youngsters". The first shoot on Monday was pretty rad when I found myself being circled by Bedouin camel riders as they chanted songs about the Souq....
But (no offense to Hamida) it didnt hold a candle to what I was in store for on Tuesday.
Faisal took me 30 minutes north to Al Khudaira Falcon Center (owned by the Royal Family).
This place was IN-CREDIBLE!!!!
I have been dying to get up close and personal with some falcons since my last trip to Doha and this was as up close and personal as you can get.
There were hundreds of falcons here. Every breed, color, size, and shape you can think of. (Well maybe not every shape.... they are pretty much all falcon shaped haha) Some of them cost up to $200,000!!!!!!
We met up with Jeff Armstrong, who is the main man at the farm. He is responsible for basically every aspect of falconry. He grew up in the UK training and hunting with falcons and he knows pretty much everything there is to know about these bad boys.
First thing we did was watch him feed the pregnant falcons. They were isolated and quite spooked by us and the camera so we didn't get too close to these ones.
Then he took us into this huge netted tent sorta thing where tons of falcons were flying around in circles while others were perched around the sides and on a tower in the center.
We shot an interview with him until the falcons got overly excited and started to fly into each other and smash to the ground. That was our cue to get outta there because they were "overheating".
We left that chamber and headed back to the main study house/incubator where they had a new wild falcon sitting on a stump in the middle of the room where his desk was.
That's where I got my first real lesson in falcon handling.
There are some simple basics to be aware of when handling a falcon...
First, the giant glove is a must.
Second.... always keep your hand above your elbow. Once it drops below your elbow, even if the falcon is hooded, he will know he's on an arm and will instantly take off up to your shoulder. Not that that sounds so bad..... BUT..... once he gets there, he will tear your ass to bits.
I almost got caught once but quickly lifted my hand and confused him so he stayed.
Then they took the hood off and let me feed him.
This part was quite weird considering I had to hold a headless, featherless, baby quail between my thumb and forefinger as he tore into it.
The sheer force of their beaks is incredible. It tore through the flesh and crunched through the bone with ease as I started to feel kinda nauseous.
That's when I let the pros take over.
*Video to come

The next part of the falcon journey was not only hilarious but repulsive.
The breeding process.
Not only do they have 50+ "couples" in the breeding building, each in their own sort of love chamber..... there is a lot of artificial insemination going on.
This is where it gets kinda weird.
Apparently, when you train a falcon, and it starts to trust you, it also gets turned on by you.
So obviously, you gotta utilize that to your advantage. The process from this point is the bizarre part.
Jeff quickly realized that when falcons mate, the female sticks her ass in the air and it becomes the highest point on her body..... so the male is naturally drawn to the highest point to do his biznass.
Well turns out, this is also the case when a falcon tries to "do it" with a human..... it goes to the highest point...... the head.
So after realizing this (by trial and error I assume) he decided to create a hat of sorts, to protect his head from the humping and ejac.
The hat looked like a giant chocolate muffin make out of a hard plaster. It has divots all over it so the falcon could grip on to it and do his deed. Once "done", they gather the "gold" into a pipette and inject it into the females.
He also pointed out that sometimes the falcons aim gets bad and..... well..... you get the point..... it gets quite messy.
hahahahaha
So weird.

After showing us 100's of falcons and most of the falconry process we rolled around the farm and checked out camels, horses, gazelles, sheep, and loads of other insane animals.
It was so surreal to see these things that I have only seen on the Discovery channel or Animal Planet, in the flesh.
Jeff even gave me some falcon feathers to take away with me. These bad boys will definitely have a nice home in my hat soon.
I really owe it to Faisal and the Al Thani family for having such rad stuff.
I have a feeling its not the last time I will be there.
Now if they could only get a monkey.

After we left there, we headed back to the office where we wrapped up for the day and I was off to my first soccer game in over 12 years.
I joined a league of English oil men on the recommendation of Steve.
I really wanted to get out of the hotel, at least once a week, and get some exercise.... so this seemed perfect.
I went out and bought the most badass (and most neon) shoes I could find and maybe thought that would help my case.
Well..... it didn't really.
Turns out I am COMPLETELY out of practice and out of shape.
I missed 3 easy goals, busted my ass hard once (we play on concrete so that was pretty unpleasant), and ran up the "field" dry heaving at least twice hahaa
As a reward for being so bad, I limped away with 5 giant blisters on my feet, a skinned thigh, and an elbow that is now 4 different shades of blue and purple.
Hopefully next week I'll be a little better....
But I somehow doubt it.